My first stint with corruption in India

The country reeks of corruption. It is present in every strata of our Indian society, from the 'zamadar' to the 'thanedar' to our glorious bureaucrats and ministers.
and I witnessed it for the first time in getting my driver's license. The cunning masters of corruption have the most stealthy way of subterfuge.The fool the gullible to believe what they say and to pay to complete the process. The rain gods showered Delhi with their magnanimous kindness on that particular day. Whatever be the case, I had to give the test. What added to my ever advancing troubles was the fact that the wiper had to go off its rocker on the same day!!
Despite everything I drove the length the inspector had asked me too (which was 4 kms on the ring road at 10 am and included two pretty sharp u-turns). When it was over and i went inside their office soaked from head to toe, little did I know that my efforts will be going to waste. The inspector asked me road signs and I answered two out of four correctly. But very smartly he kept moving his fat head from left to right as if everything i was saying was trash. OK. I did not know two of them but then they were those rare signs you have to remember when you go to get your learner's. Atleast they should have told me that you have to memorize them for the final test also. Whatever it is, he kept shaking his head like a buffalo out of its mind and mumbled, "madam, sign nahi aate, kaise hoga, mushkil hain."
I should have realised what was he asking for. But alas I guess God has his own way to make me realise that I am really too naive. I replied "aapko pehle batana chahiye tha, yaad karke aati."
"madam, yeh to yaad hone chahiye, har driver ko." Which driver in Delhi recognises all -and i mean ALL-the road signs. Less than half of them are actually used in this coutry. For example, how many times have you come across a sign meant for prohibiting thoroughfare??
Whatever it is, I had to pay a price for being a dunce in that situation. He scribbled a huge fail across the form and asked me to learn the signs and come after a week. I came back home dejected and then my father told me the true purpose of their rather unnecessary questions. I was baffled but i cannot deny that a tiny part of my brain had figured that out. He recalled his experience of getting the license. One of his fingers had burnt when he was a kid. It was operated on and hence looks a bit weird. The inspector saw his hand and said, "is haath se chalane mein mushkil nahin hoga?medical test chahiye." My father retorted, "let me show you how powerful it is" , and feigned a punch. wow.... and then that slimy creature gave him his license, more out of fright i guess....

Well, I guess I'll have to wait for another week........but next time I'll be a bit more smart and ready (with cash)....

EAGLES

Have you ever watched the Eagle's flight,
as he climbs into the sky,
gliding to some distant horizons,
yet never seems to try.

For he is powered by more than wings,
the wind whispers to him still,
stay free and wild of spirit and soul,
and infinite of will.

You seldom see him work to stay
at his vantage point aloft,
and though you strain you cannot
feel the touch of feathers soft.

On endless flight he seems to be
gazing to the west,
a weathered branch in talons strong,
to reinforce the nest.

No tear to glaze the eyes of he,
no worry to betray,
the misted valleys far below,
hold songs he hears today.

Oh! to be the eagle there,
to feel the rush,
and to have his topmost spot,
to witness the sunset's blush.

And Oh! to have the serenity to rise above it all,
knowing in peace that the wind won't let me fall.

Speak up...

Stop not the words that yet to take shape,
Let them flow,
Like the river that braves all that obstructs,
The words disposed to be your wings
for a ride to pristine unexplored destinations.

There will lie what you seek,
What is not spoken of but dreamed about.

Words that will not let you down,
Words, that will make you rise,
far above the grounds of silence apprehension binds you to,
Words that will break the mute walls that hide you within,
Words that will bring a new dawn,
a unique dawn,
that does not bring a dusk along.

Your resolution, is your voice.
Your strengths are your thoughts.
Words, will pave the way.

Speak up, lest the time is over,
the opportunity is lost.
And all you face is a dead end.

Am I really that short??

First things first - I do not consider myself short and contrary to beliefs, the more I am getting closer to becoming an adult, the less I am concerned about how I look and what people think of it.
But my dear mother is on the other end of this island, poking fun at me whenever she gets the chance (and seeing that there are many tall and gangly people in Delhi, she gets it often). Give me a break!! My height is not my fault and neither is increasing it in my hands. I mean I am taller than mom, so my genes do not exactly permit further increase in height (at this point we can ignore the genes from the paternal side of my family). She says that if I do some kind of stretching exercises daily, I can grow an inch or two. As if!! I mean, come on, if that would have been true, every short entity would have stretched as far as they could. But they dont!!! and even if they do, they still remain short. Okay, maybe a few of them do grow, but only a few.... and let me tell you, my luck is horrendously bad and i know that i will not be one of those 'few'.
So whats the point?? just for two inches more and that too without any kind of certainity, there is no point wasting my energy( which is not a very abundant resource in my life) and precious time(we can cut out what i do in that 'precious' time).
Then there is this friend of mine, lets call this person... IG.. (mindless abbreviation to conceal identity in case I hurt the sentiments of the person concerned).
According to IG, I am tiny.When we walk together, IG has to lower his glance by a 'Huge' level to be able to see me properly. I must mention that IG hardly pays any attention to me when I am speaking (while walking that is..) because he think its crap (ok, not crap but still, not that important), and the only time he has to 'lower' his glance is when he has run out of cash and we have to pay at some restaurant or cafe (which happens 50% of the times...fair enough..). But on a brighter side he finds my 'shortness' adorable!!! He says it makes me look cute!!! and due to a sudden unexpected increase in my weight these days, his new term for me is "cute liitle chubby baby".........wow!! Can we call this the silver lining in the cloud???
No. period. I am not a baby. I am an adult, if not completely mature still matching up to my age. And chubby sounds a bit far fetched...the image that comes to your mind is that of a those round babies you see on television commercials. And for god's sake five foot three (or is it four....it cannot be two, i can assure you of that...or is it??....) is not SHORT or TINY. There are many girls who are of that height but maybe less tormented than me. You need to feel big from the inside. You can be seven feet and yet if you feel small, you are SMALL.....I am not. No..no....no way....
Well... my denial is hardly a solution. I guess I should go and try out those exercises my mom mentioned. and call IG to hear him call me 'cute little chubby baby'. I am thinking of joining a gym. Will that work??.....

There is a shortage of everything but JERKS!!!

I ws waiting at the metro station today for abt 15 mins (someone who hd to pick me up from the place i ws takng a metro to had nt yet arrived, so i thought i'd rather wait here than the other station). Suddenly this whacko guy cums up to me n asks me if i m waiting for someone. at first, i answer him politely cuz if smone hs been missin 3 to 4 metros in a row, one cn get curious. bt i guess that ws my 1st mistake. this crackpot, ludicrous, nincompooh starts a full fledged conversation!!!
i wonder, oh god!!! why me??...... ws i the only one there?? well, actually, yes.
he takes a seat next to me (making me all the more uncomfortable), first tells me why is he waiting there n for whom (sounding as if i m really interested or concerned), n then statrs askng stuff like, ' who am i waiting for?', 'what do i do?', 'where do i study?' n blah blah.... cn u believe it!!!!
what a JERK!!!!
I answer him, all the while trying my best to sound pissed bt failing miserably .. my head ws bursting to fit n hence my voice ws low. i think the low volume blurred the tone...he kept gng on n on n on...
then......the next metro arrives like my saviour knight!!!! i rush towards it.
nt the end of the story....then this bloody loser, asks for my number and also asks me to take the next metro, to give him company!!!!
I wanted to give him a piece of my mind and strangle him then n there (yes, strangle, cuz he ws being an ass****). i wntd to say smthng real rude bt a metro station at kashmere gate did nt seem like the right place.
so, i get this bright idea, n gave him a number i dnt use bt still have with me. so that when he calls i cn giv him a sounding of his life n threaten him that i'll call the cops...... so that never again has he the guts to trouble innocent commuters unaware of his torments.
Bt i guess he already knew i wld do smthing like that (jerks knw wht they get in return) n did nt call....
BUT, he still remains an ass**** n a BIG JERK!!!
n i learn another thing - never to wait at a metro station (specially this one), if its nt crowded, for long. at least this guy ws just talking. in Delhi u never know....

P.S. -he ws an engineering student!!! who made him???

thought for the day,
u have the choice to be one of the two types - one who brings happiness whenever he comes, or, one who brings happiness whenver he goes...

Is blood really thicker than water??

I have heard from one and all that its ur family which stands by u through thick and thin. I am yet to witness that. My experience tells me that family thwarts and breaks u and is urs only if u satisfy their selfish interests (that excludes ur mother, who cannot break the bond of an umbilical cord).
I do not have any sibling and have always considered my cousins to be as good as real ones. but what do i get in return? jealousy, discouragement, rudeness that aches ur heart to think that u considered them ur own. I have never thought anyone to be inferior to me or not as good as i am. but i dunno y, most of my kin avoids me as if i m some long time foe. I have wasted a whole lot of tears over them and am nt willing to do so anymore. Its not as if i m dying to be with them.

There are others, who r nt family, but still every bit precious to me as diamonds are to a woman. They have shattered every illusion that i held about family. Blood is not and was never thicker than water. They have loved me for what i am, helped me at every crossroad of my life, been with me through thick and thin and have always encouraged me and reminded me of my ambitions and pushed me to work hard for it.
I love them. They - rads and ash.
I love my mom. Before me, she has had to bear all that s**t from the goddamn family supposedly my own. They hated her for her profession (that of a doctor), disliked her success, and cldnt bear to see her better off than most of them. But she went through it all just for me. She could have walked out but stay put for me. I love u mom.
and i love Bholu and lily (refer to previous blog).

signing off now......
Thought for the day - "Whatever makes u feel weak, reject it as poison." Swami Vivekananda.

My first blog....

They say paper is the most patient of all listeners.. i doubt they have heard of a blog. i have made innumearble attempts to start a diary...but never has it lasted for more than a week. and whatever i did write on some of the pages, i have torn them with my own hands to prevent them from falling in the wrong hands. A blog does not face any such problems and that has given me a reason to start one..
I am an eighteen year old ( though my mum keeps reminding me my height doesnt match up to my age) doing graduation from a reputed college of India(SRCC, for those who know) and at present not dissatisfied with my life. i guess that much of an intro is enough...

My life is pretty good if u omit the fact that i have a nasty temper and a hufe inflated ego which lead to even bigger fights and conflicts. and i hate it when the fight is with someone i love.
Apart from that, i have two cute dogs (i prefer calling them family) who make this world a better and more entertaining place for me. i do not have any sibling but they, Bholu and Lily, have never let me feel the need for one. they have never let loneliness come near me and have shown me what it is to love without expecting anything in return.
i am madly in love and i am happy to be. everyone says at 18 u cannot experience love. u need to be more mature...i say thats bulls**t. When u are ready to go to any lengths for someone, thats love. When u miss someone, even if the person is not there for just an hour, thats love. When u think of someone before u think of urself, thats love. When everything seems useless without someone, thats love. and when even after nearly two years, ur relationship still feels so new and so fresh, its then u r sure its love.

dont want to overload the first blog of my life, so am winding up...
Thought for the day - Beauty is not God's gift but our perception. what we find ugly might be his most remarkable creation. Dont crib if u aint as beautiful as miss world but thank Him for what u r. if it had not been for Him, u might not have been there at all...